Explanatory Preface Seen Necessary Due To Unconventionality of The French New Wave Movement: This screenplay is not a conventional one, baring no dialogue. The French New Wavers constructed their films while filming, often with no pre-written dialogue or coherent plot, if anything, a skeletal outline, most likely written on the bathroom floor of filthy bus stations on the back of napkins from whatever the French have equivalent to IHOP. That being said, this is merely a skeletal outline, subject to change, written on the back of a napkin from the American equivalent of the French equivalent to IHOP, IHOP.
Scene One – Steve’s Funeral
-Scene: Liam and Patrick tromping about a church, having been given no permission to do so, through improvised dialogue it is learned that Liam is late for mutual friend Steve’s funeral. Liam is clad in a ridiculous yellow Hawaiian shirt, being late for the funeral, having been tied up at his job at a Tiki Bar (“Janet…she’s got these teeth…they piss me off”).
-Scene moves to a cemetery (highlighted by the sepulcher “Downer”, as noted ex-post-fact-o) where a variety of topics are discussed, including but not limited to, Steve’s annoying girlfriend’s ridiculous eulogy. All the while, Liam is persisting on telling Patrick a story which he does not wish to hear at the somber occasion.
-Scene moves once again to a generic closet, accompanied by the implication of drug use. Liam begins his story… Scene Two – Tour Of The House/Meeting Creepy Larry -Scene: Liam approaches the house, having emerged from the inky void. He enters, having been ushered in by Girl. After an at length tracking shot of a tour through the house, Liam inadvertently stumbles into the creepy Jesus-layer of Creepy Larry¸ the father of Girl. -Creepy Larry looks over Liam and judges his moral fiber (“I’m a community leader”) stressing the importance of the family’s faith. It is really freaking awkward. Scene Three – Breaking Bread -Scene: Uncomfortable diner table discourse, where Liam is pressured into saying Grace (though delivers it in a hilariously botched debacle of a prayer). Creepy Larry delves further into Liam’s societal position and social inclinations, on the side accusing Girl of anorexia. All this, of course, over a fine generic pasta dish. Scene Four – We’ll Get To Know Each Other -Scene: Creepy Larry brings Liam into his study, and discusses the three rules that must never be broken (“Never do anything to wrong my daughter…Never do anything to wrong me…And Never do anything to wrong the Catholic Church”) Scene Five – Lover -Liam and Girlenact in an impromptu montage of trying to kiss, being hilariously interrupted by Creepy Larryat every turn. Set to “Lover” by Devendra Banhart (from the lp Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon) Scene Six – And We All Shine On/Peace Out, Steve -Scene: returns to Patrick and Liam in closet, with some heart-wrenching discourse summing up the moral, was there a moral, which there was not. They are then at peace with the loss of Steve. Fin.
Scene One – Steve’s Funeral
-Scene: Liam and Patrick tromping about a church, having been given no permission to do so, through improvised dialogue it is learned that Liam is late for mutual friend Steve’s funeral. Liam is clad in a ridiculous yellow Hawaiian shirt, being late for the funeral, having been tied up at his job at a Tiki Bar (“Janet…she’s got these teeth…they piss me off”).
-Scene moves to a cemetery (highlighted by the sepulcher “Downer”, as noted ex-post-fact-o) where a variety of topics are discussed, including but not limited to, Steve’s annoying girlfriend’s ridiculous eulogy. All the while, Liam is persisting on telling Patrick a story which he does not wish to hear at the somber occasion.
-Scene moves once again to a generic closet, accompanied by the implication of drug use. Liam begins his story…
Scene Two – Tour Of The House/Meeting Creepy Larry
-Scene: Liam approaches the house, having emerged from the inky void. He enters, having been ushered in by Girl. After an at length tracking shot of a tour through the house, Liam inadvertently stumbles into the creepy Jesus-layer of Creepy Larry¸ the father of Girl.
-Creepy Larry looks over Liam and judges his moral fiber (“I’m a community leader”) stressing the importance of the family’s faith. It is really freaking awkward.
Scene Three – Breaking Bread
-Scene: Uncomfortable diner table discourse, where Liam is pressured into saying Grace (though delivers it in a hilariously botched debacle of a prayer). Creepy Larry delves further into Liam’s societal position and social inclinations, on the side accusing Girl of anorexia. All this, of course, over a fine generic pasta dish.
Scene Four – We’ll Get To Know Each Other
-Scene: Creepy Larry brings Liam into his study, and discusses the three rules that must never be broken (“Never do anything to wrong my daughter…Never do anything to wrong me…And Never do anything to wrong the Catholic Church”)
Scene Five – Lover
-Liam and Girl enact in an impromptu montage of trying to kiss, being hilariously interrupted by Creepy Larry at every turn. Set to “Lover” by Devendra Banhart (from the lp Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon)
Scene Six – And We All Shine On/Peace Out, Steve
-Scene: returns to Patrick and Liam in closet, with some heart-wrenching discourse summing up the moral, was there a moral, which there was not. They are then at peace with the loss of Steve.
Fin.